Thursday, September 25, 2008

A hard decision

I have had to decide something today and I'm still not 100% convinced its the right thing to do but suspect that is just me not wanting to make the call. My 12 yo Scottie, Duffy, or Miss Duff as my late husband always called her...she's not doing well in her old age.

Steven was dreading the day we lost her and I think that time is near. She is having quite a bit of blood in her urine and Scotties are prone to bladder cancer and all types of cancer but that one in particular is one they get. The vet said I need to bring her back in for more tests but as I was sitting here looking at her after the call I just realized how sad and old she is looking. Her life is basically eat and then sleep. She doesn't want to go outside except to potty then wants right back in so she can sleep some more. She can't hear and is losing her sight as well. Unfortunately I am not financially able to keep her health where I'd like it to be...she's more "patch, patch, patch"...I call her the million dollar dog because healthwise she's always been a challenge.

So I think this weekend I will take her to the dogpark for one last visit - she likes to sit by my feet and watch the other dogs play, feed her whatever she wants, like a good steak and just spend a lot of time loving on her and say my goodbyes. This will be very hard for me since it hasn't been that long since we had to take my husband off life support and losing her will be like losing another piece of him. I'm sure he'll be there to greet her in Heaven. I think she has missed him quite a bit.

So everyone, please say a prayer I can do the right thing by Miss Duffy.